So you’ve just gone through a breakup, but now you’re having second thoughts.
Maybe you miss them when things get lonely. Maybe they say they’ll change and do whatever it takes to make it work this time. But does it really work that way?
You’re faced with a major dilemma: Should I go back to my ex or not?
Here are 6 reasons why you should run the f**k away.
1. You’ve just escaped from a sinking ship. Why hop back onboard?
You ended things for a reason.
You wouldn’t have broken up with this person if you were perfectly happy and satisfied. Sure, every relationship has its problems, but these were major issues to you that couldn’t be fixed (that’s why you broke up, remember?).
Think about all the times you’ve felt upset, neglected, disappointed, doubtful…the list goes on.
If you get back together, you’re going to experience the exact same feelings. Why would you put yourself through that misery again?
2. They’re not serious about changing.
If there were traits or habits about your ex that you couldn’t accept, and you told them about it, did they make any effort to work on it for the sake of the relationship?
If someone were truly serious about you, they wouldn’t have waited until you ended the relationship to change anything about themselves. But be warned: they will say anything just to win you back.
Remember that actions always speak louder than words. People don’t change overnight. Can you can accept being with this person if they ultimately do not change?
If the answer is no, it would be better to walk away now.
3. You’re preventing yourself from experiencing something much better.
If you get back together, you’re essentially sabotaging your chances of experiencing that amazing relationship you truly deserve.
In the latest General Social Survey, over half (51%) of Americans between the ages of 18 and 34 do not have a steady romantic partner.
It’s a fact: There is no lack of single people out there, and a high possibility of finding someone you have less doubts about — so why limit yourself to this one person and potentially end up in an unhappy marriage?
4. You’re afraid to be alone.
Let’s be honest: It’s hard to go back to being single. We’re social creatures and we get lonely.
But if we don’t confront exactly why we’re feeling alone and work on resolving the issue internally, we’ll often wind up with incompatible people and feel even worse when things inevitably come to an end.
We should want to be with someone because they add to our already fulfilling lives.
5. You’re getting back together out of guilt.
It’s easy for you to ignore someone’s mistakes or shortcomings, especially if they are close to you.
But if you get back together because you feel bad about hurting someone, you’re probably going to break up again for the same fundamental reasons.
This might even lead to a pattern of “relationship cycling“, a process of repeatedly breaking up and getting back together, which increases the risk of psychological distress like depression and anxiety for both parties.
6. When it’s the right person, you’ll probably know.
The fact that you’re unsure if you should get back together or not says a lot.
With the right and compatible person, there wouldn’t be so many doubts in your head in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with finding answers online, but you shouldn’t feel the constant urge to clarify your doubts via the Internet.
According to Priscilla Martinez, a life coach at Blush Online Life Coaching, an open, honest dialogue is essential to any relationship, but that’s especially true for one that’s going to be long-term.
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