How to Fall in Love Again: 8 Simple Steps

Don’t know how to fall in love again?

We’ve all been there. The long nights spent wondering if there were someone out there to give us butterflies in our stomach again.

Someone to make us believe in true love again despite our doubt and skepticism.

Regardless of whether you have recently fallen out of love or were scarred by a previous relationship, here are 8 things you need to do if you want to learn how fall in love again.

1. Let go of the past.

Yes, that includes your ex or anyone who has hurt you in the past.

Research shows that people who reflect on their recent breakups actually get over their breakups faster than those who don’t.

Heartbreak and singlehood comes with plenty of lessons about learning to love others as well as yourself.

Choose to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and let go of any baggage – it’s time to start with a clean slate and learn to love again.

2. Know that you are deserving of love (and so lovable!)

We all have a seemingly endless list of fears and insecurities.

Whatever the reasons are, don’t let them be reasons to stop you from trying, because when you love yourself, it’s going to be much easier to find someone who loves you for you and you only.

Like what New York Times bestselling author and success coach Jen Sincero says: “You are loved. Massively. Ferociously. Unconditionally.”

You are worthy of love. And it’s about time you realise that.

3. Don’t put your walls up.

Being in love is all about being brave enough to be vulnerable.

Putting your walls up sends the message that you’re shutting yourself out from people (who probably think you’re awesome, by the way) and don’t want to get involved with anyone.

Listen to your instincts and gut – it’s okay to let your guard down when you meet the right people.

You shouldn’t just trust anybody recklessly, but being overly paranoid and skeptical of everyone will definitely prevent you from finding love again.

Also, news flash: you can’t fall in love without actually meeting people. So get off that couch and start mingling!

4. Forget comparisons.

We’re often pressurised by societal standards to look a certain way and work towards a specific career path.

It’s the same when it comes to romance – countless mainstream movies, TV shows and now even couples on social media paint ridiculously unrealistic ideas of romance and love.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your love life with those around you and to feel like you’re on a hopeless mission to find true love.

You might start to doubt if there is even a point in trying to fall in love again.

Until you realise that your love story is uniquely yours and isn’t ever going to be the same as that influencer’s on Instagram, nothing’s going to change.

So instead of wasting your time on thinking that the grass is greener on the other side, why not start watering your own grass?

5. Have realistic expectations.

We all have an ideal image of what it means to fall in love and be with someone – no thanks to dreamy Korean dramas and lovey-dovey Netflix shows.

The truth is, love never happens the way we expect it to.

If you have a superficial checklist in your head (e.g. he/she needs to be rich/good-looking), you’re not only going to appear fake – you’re also holding yourself back from finding love.

We’re not saying you should have zero expectations or date someone you don’t find attractive, but you should be open-minded and listen to your heart if you truly want to fall in love again.

For all you know, the right person will come knocking at your door in the most random and unexpected way possible (that’s the magical part about falling in love in the first place, isn’t it?).

6. Prepare for love.

You don’t have to prepare years in advance to find a soulmate, but you have to at least make self-care a priority so that you’re constantly improving and can always be the best version of yourself.

Would you fall in love with someone like yourself? If the answer is no, take the necessary steps to focus on loving yourself more.

Push yourself. Get out of your comfort zone every once in a while to try something new.

Adopt that skincare and exercise routine you’ve been neglecting for way too long. Travel to somewhere new for lunch or download that dating app your friends have been bugging you about.

Love yourself enough, and when the right person comes, you’ll be ready to fall in love and make it work.

7. Take your time.

Seriously, there’s no rush.

Take time to get to know yourself. Take time to learn about your own emotions, heal, and understand what you want to experience in this journey.

Take the time to really get to know someone and give them time and space to do the same.

Falling in love is a process that you don’t want to rush, because the journey is just as beautiful as the destination.

In fact, rushing into a relationship without first building a solid foundation of friendship may have a negative long-term effect, possibly resulting in an unhappy marriage.

Be patient and keep nurturing those seeds of love – they will eventually bloom.

8. Make a conscious decision, stick with it, and have faith.

There’s no point in wasting time worrying about the “what ifs”.

Make a conscious decision right now to allow love to come flowing into your life, and stick with that decision no matter what happens.

Have a little faith that someone is eventually going to sweep you off your feet, make your legs go jelly, and make you sing and dance like a complete nutcase in the shower again.

Remember: love isn’t going to give up on you, so why should you give up on love?

Have more tips to share on how to fall in love again?

Write to us or share a personal story with us.